…best place to meet a man? at a wedding…

“I met someone this weekend.”

My friend Traci was being subjected to yet another call from my 24 year old single self about a man I had met.

Travis and I today...

Travis and I today…

“Where did you meet him?” she asked.

“At my cousin’s wedding in New Mexico.”

“Where does he live?”

“Well,” I said, “he works construction and kind of lives on the road. He travels for work and stays at his brother’s house in Missouri when they aren’t on a jobsite.”

“What does he look like?” she said.

I proceeded to describe him.

“Well, he’s about 5’10″, has a great smile, dark hair and blue eyes.  His hair is long and curly and he wears it pulled back in a ponytail.  He’s got quite a few ear piercings, tattoos and a stud in his tongue.  I’m going to Indianapolis to see him in two weeks.”

“Let me get this straight,” she replied.  ”You met “the one” and he’s a homeless guy with long hair, tattoos and piercings who you are flying to another state to visit???”

Thus began our whirlwind romance that, 13 years later, is still going strong.

Travis and I met on May 5, 2001, in Albuquerque, New Mexico, at my cousin Doug’s wedding.  They had previously worked together as bartenders in Dallas and had been friends for a number of years.

This is him, lower left corner...at the exact table he was sitting at when we met. :)

This is him, lower left corner…at the exact table he was sitting at when we met. :)

When I first saw him, he was sitting at a table in the back yard with a bunch of his buddies.  He was drinking a Corona (it was Cinco de Mayo after all) and wearing a black, buttoned down shirt…covered in pictures of colorful cocktails.  He was laughing and telling stories. Loudly.  His smile lit up the place and his stories had everyone laughing hysterically.  My kind of guy.

Throughout the weekend, he asked me to spend time with him, brought me a gift, danced with me at the wedding and asked my mom for her permission to kiss me goodnight. We laughed and we talked and we laughed some more.

He said he’d call, and he did….before I even got home to Denver. We lived on the phone the next few weeks.  I learned he had four brothers and liked to work outside and get dirty.  I shared that I had four sisters and a brother, worked in an office and preferred to stay clean. He told me he loved crawfish, Pearl Jam, the Sooners and his mama.  I told him I was a terrible housecleaner but I loved to cook and family was everything to me. We talked about our childhoods, our dreams and our shared love for Jesus.  And we laughed…a lot.

The night we got engaged...

The night we got engaged…

After dozens of hours on the phone, it was less than two weeks later when I saw him again.  Within two months he had moved to Colorado and within 5 months we were engaged. Three months later, on January 20, 2001, we were married in front of God, our family and about 250 friends.

When people ask, “how do you know if he’s the one?” the answer is often, “when you know you just know”.  Extremely annoying to a single person – but so true.  When you know, you know.

I met my Travis. After all the false starts and stops and several times falling (hard) in and out of love, this time, it was real and easy and obvious. Without a doubt – he was the one for me.

It’s been 10 homes, 4 states, 4 babies, 3 dogs and 13 years since that day in New Mexico at my cousin’s wedding and I wouldn’t change a thing.  Travis, I love you…you are my everything.

What about you?  How did you know that your spouse was “the one”?

 

 

 

 

…be bold, it’s kind of a big deal…

In 2008, before we moved back to Colorado, my mom would always tell me about this girl who worked in the office next to hers.  She’d say, “Oh Joy, I wish you lived here, you would just love her!  You two would be such good friends, you’re so alike, blah blah blah…”  (To clarify, those blah blah blah’s are written with great love and affection for my mom.)

keep-calm-and-be-bold-20

Little did I know, my mom was also saying the same thing to her.  ”Oh, I wish you could meet my daughter Joy, you would just love her!  You two would be such good friends!”

She couldn’t have been more right.

When I did move back to Colorado later that year, we quickly became close friends. Four years later, our kids go to school together, our husbands get along great, she’s my bow hunting buddy, and we are both hopelessly addicted to Starbucks. I love her like one of my sisters.

Sunday we were talking on the phone (shocker) and got into a deep discussion.  It quickly went from “on the surface” spiritual stuff to deep “how do I know my sins are forgiven” stuff.  Through this conversation, I openly shared my heart, shared the gospel and shared how the Holy Spirit works in my life and what Jesus means to me.

She said to me, “How is it that we’ve been friends for years and we’ve never had this conversation?”  My answer came quick and easy. I told her how it’s not just something you throw out there uninvited. You don’t just sit someone down and tell them how to live their life.  I didn’t want to offend her and I just figured when the time was right it would be obvious.”

Her answer is burned in my brain.

She said, “Really?  You didn’t want to offend me? Joy, it’s kind of a big deal…I don’t think that it matters if I would be offended or not.  This isn’t the kind of thing you just hold back on.”

Wow….punch to the gut.

About six weeks ago, a sixth grader in our community was killed in a tragic accident.  I talked to her dad shortly after.  He told me that, since the accident, the only thing holding him up was Jesus.  He had been a christian for over 25 years and until this happened he had been timid in his faith for fear of offending people.  In his whole life, he could count the number of people he had shared Christ with on one hand.

Since losing his daughter, his entire perspective had changed.  He didn’t care who he offended.  He wanted everyone to know the strength and security that true relationship with Christ had brought to his life.  He wanted everyone to know what the love of Jesus is really all about.  He was going to shout it from the rooftops – that true joy comes from only one place…Jesus Christ.

New plan…share Jesus with those around me. Explain how the Holy Spirit works in my life and how He wants to work in theirs.  Tell them that Jesus loves them, that He died for them and that He has a plan for their life.

I will be bold…because it’s kind of a big deal.

When it comes to your faith, are you bold?  If not, what’s stopping you?

….i will not choose ice cream & diet coke…

I’m very blessed this morning.  

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  • My children are safe, secure and loved.
  • My husband is absolutely the most amazing person on this planet.
  • My Amma is here to visit for a month – seriously, what could be better?
  • My business is thriving.

Why write this down?  Well, it’s mostly for me.  I needed to write down these blessings because this is where my focus needs to be.  On the positive.

Yesterday was nuts. It was a very long 14 hour work day. It was productive, grueling and a bit of a roller coaster. Today, I woke up with a headache. I slept (if you can call it that) with a sick two year old baby girl last night. I am overwhelmed with work. I am overwhelmed with commitments. I am overwhelmed with the busyness of my life.

When I feel this way, I have two choices.  

  1. I can retreat and crawl into bed with a big bowl of ice cream, People magazine & a diet coke.
  2. I can focus on my blessings and tackle my to do list one thing at a time.

I want to do #1…really, I do. 

I will choose #2.  I will choose to be thankful. I will choose to be positive. I will choose to count it all joy. Why?

Because, truly, there is no choice. If I do anything but choose to focus on the positive, I will shrivel up inside. God wired me from the inside out to be optimistic, get things done and be thankful. Still, I forget (often)….and I need to remind myself.  Thus, writing down my blessings.

OK…blessings acknowledged. Now I need to get busy on that list.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed?  What’s your number one blessing today?

 

 

…summertime in indy…

Summer is in full swing around our house.  Kids are in summer camp (hallelujah) and so far so good.  We’ve got ballet, cub scouts, pre-school, field trips, swimming lessons…we are busy!  But it’s summer and we’re having a blast!

Last weekend we drove to Indianapolis to attend a diesel event.  Travis helps on the pit crew of two trucks that race all over.  He usually makes it to 4-5 races a year…I usually make it to 2 or 3.  This time, we brought Jacob and Delaney.  It was a blast!  Best part…we WON!!!  (Jacob was just a teensy over the moon about this.)  Seth Sullivan is on the far left of the photo below and he’s the driver who owned the day.  Dale Smith is second from the right and he owns the truck.  Congratulations Seth and Dale!

Funny thing about these diesel weekends…I used to not enjoy them…AT ALL!!  I found it annoying that Travis wanted to spend so much money traveling, I was annoyed by the whole thing when we got there, and honestly…I could care less about black smoke, horsepower and whether or not someone “red-lighted”.

But over the years I’ve changed my tune.  I really look forward to going now.  The truth is, we’ve made some fantastic memories at these events.  We have some amazing lifelong friends that we’ve made along the way.  And most importantly, Travis and I get to have the experiences together.  Sometimes we bring the kids, sometimes it’s just us…but one thing is a given – we will always have a great time.

And yes…I still could care less about black smoke or horsepower. But these days I definitely care about whether or not someone “red-lighted”.

See you at Scheid’s!

…the dreaded phone call…

Depending on who you listen to, the forecast is calling for blizzard like conditions and 12-22 inches of snow in the next roughly 24 hours.  I just got the phone call.  As a work-from-home mother with four children under the age of ten, it was the one phone call I dread most….

“This is School District 27J.  School will be closed tomorrow due to inclement weather.”

I answered the call on speaker phone.  Jacob immediately started cheering and ran upstairs to tell his half-asleep sister the good news. A minute later she was wide awake, squealing and dancing.  It took a good 20 minutes to get everyone calmed down and tucked in.

The house is now quiet…and I’m left to my thoughts.  My schedule tomorrow was all set.   On top of a manuscript to finish reading and a (large) bucket full of e-mails to respond to, I have three conference calls and one Skype meeting scheduled… strategically scheduled around naps, cups of marshmallows and episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba.  And now?  I can see it all crumbling before my eyes…my productivity straight down the proverbial toilet.

But wait…what is this?  Ah yes, it’s Joy…the Queen of Optimism coming back to life.  I am not going to let this situation get the best of me.  Yes, tomorrow is officially a snow day.  Yes, I am going to have four children at home all day.  Yes, I am going to be dealing with wet dogs in and out the back door.  Yes, there will be mittens and snowy boots littering the floor.  Yes…my work day is going to be screwed up.

But…the name of this blog is I Count it ALL Joy…so here goes.

Tomorrow, I will be full of Joy because…

  • It is officially a snow day.
  • I will have four adorable children to spend the entire day with.
  • I have two dogs to watch run and play in the snow…quite entertaining actually.
  • I will line up the wet mittens and snowy boots and serve big cups of hot chocolate to my kids and watch them smile as they drop in marshmallows one by one.
  • My work day will be totally screwed up.  (Hey, just because I’m the Queen of Optimism doesn’t mean I’ve completely lost my grip on reality.)

So come on winter….SNOW!!  As far as I’m concerned….bring it!

And if you are a client or one of the people I have a conference call with tomorrow…well, I apologize in advance for the background noise.  Remember…you can find the joy in anything…you just have to look for it.

…a note to my kids…

My kids…Jacob, Delaney, Sara and Ellie.  They are four totally different individuals and yet quite the little tribe.  Today seems like a good day to tell each one of them how amazing they are…

So here goes….we’ll start with Jacob.

Jacob, you are my only son and I couldn’t have asked for a more wonderful kid.  You are intelligent and thoughtful.  You have such a sweet heart that I fear will get broken at least a few times in your life.  You have always had a deep intensity when it comes to your faith in God…as you get older you are sharpening that and it’s one of my favorite things about you.  There’s no greater Pokemon master that I know of and your Wii skills are off the chart.  Regardless of the activity you are doing you give it your all.  Thank you for being such a great big brother.  You’ve found a nice balance of teasing and protecting your little sisters. Your teacher emailed me last week and said you were becoming “quite a leader” in your class.  Keep it up buddy….that’s a skill that will take you far in life, no matter where your life takes you.

Delaney, my seven year old going on 17.  You are such a delight.  Your sense of humor and your desire to do all things “grown-up” make you so much fun to be around.  Your grades (almost straight A’s last report card) are fantastic and the best part…your behavior is just as good as your school work.  Right now, your favorite things are ballet, cooking and yep, still Justin Bieber.  You’re learning to do your own hair and you have a great fashion sense.  As your dad put it, “Delaney never leaves the house without lookin’ smooth.”  You have a compassionate heart and you are always thinking about who needs a friend. Don’t ever lose that…it’s such a special gift.

Sara…crazy, silly, hilarious Sara.  What can I say?  I think God put you in our family to make sure we stay laughing.  You know how to make everyone smile and you’re pretty cute to go with it.  Your imagination knows no end…who knew that Barbie’s and dinosaurs could get along so well?  You’re going to preschool and you just started ballet classes.  You are somewhat addicted to Yo Gabba Gabba, especially on the iPad.  You are a tiny little peanut but your big personality makes up for what you lack in size. You are always wanting “to help”…and I couldn’t ask for a better little helper.

Baby Ellie…our sweet little Eleanor.  You are my last baby and you are growing up altogether too fast.  When we had your 1st birthday party I realized…this is my LAST 1st birthday party.  Just the first of many “this is my last” thoughts I’ve had over your first year. You are already wearing 18 month clothes, you’re ready for your first haircut and walking is just around the corner.  Your smile lights up the room and your big brother and sisters adore you.  With you, our family feels complete.  We love you little one…

Loving the photos?  Then you need to contact Kristen with kh photography…she’s absolutely amazing.

…a new mindset…

Last year I tried all sorts of things to help me with a weekly routine.  I spent hours reading the Fly Lady website – which I still do by the way.  I tried to put her plan into action and it worked, for the most part.  I started trying to read through the Bible in a Year…I think I made it about 30% of the way.  I signed up for all my favorite blogs with Google Reader in an effort to be more organized.  All of this was helpful but nothing ever stuck.

After much thought I’ve decided that it’s not a new system I need, it’s a new mindset.  A new mindset is critical for me to experience change in the following three areas:

Diet/Exercise -This is absolutely the routine I like the least.  Diet and exercise aren’t fun for me, interesting for me or enjoyable for me.  If I had a list of my top 8 priorities…this wouldn’t even make it.  My friend (and client) Ken Davis is 65 and running triathlons.  He asked me to run one with him in May.  I immediately and cheerfully declined.

The truth though is, I’m almost 36, finished having babies (boo)…it’s time to get serious.  I have 36 pounds to lose to get back to my pre-kid weight.  It sounds insurmountable but I’m determined to do it.  How am I changing my mindset?  Well, I got a coach.  Michael Hyatt (also one of my clients…yes, his blog is worth reading EVERY day) and Tony Robbins are big on coaches.  Sometimes coaches cost a lot of money but in this case, my coach is free.  I’ll probably have to buy her a bottle of Woop Woop wine once in a while but she’s worth it!

Traci Scheer has been one of my best friends since we were about 11 years old.  She is one of those people who LOVES diet and exercise.  She studied it in college and lives it out every day.  She’s helping me through this journey and I’m REALLY thankful for it.  What are we doing?  It’s super simple…  I’m tracking everything I eat and my exercise at My Fitness Pal.  The goal right now is 1270 calories a day and 15 minutes of exercise 5 days a week.  Some days I’m making my goals, other days I’m not…but I’m focused and my coach is making all the difference.

Reading the Bible – This is easier for me, in fact I’m really enjoying it.  My new mindset is to see this as a MUST every day, not a “wouldn’t it be nice” thing.  Spending time with Jesus everyday is imperative if any of my routines or new mindsets are going to succeed.  I’m using the You Version app to read the entire bible in one year.  One cool feature – I can listen to someone read the bible (who has this cool British voice) while I read it.  I find I retain it much better this way.

Keeping my House Clean – Well, I’ve made this really easy.  My new mindset is, hire someone to help.  For a few years my dad has been encouraging me to hire a housekeeper.  We have a decent size house and what with living in the country, four kids and two dogs…things get messy fast.  Plus, if you know me, you know that cleaning is NOT my strong point.  I finally gave in.  I finally hired Julia and Tina…my “cleaning angels”…who come once every two weeks.  It was a squeeze to fit this into our budget, but SO worth it.  The house is still not always clean, but every two weeks it gets put back to “perfect”.  I can’t even tell you how much stress this has removed from my life.  We eat a lot more ground beef and less steaks…but it’s worth it!  :)

A new mindset is making a ton of difference in my life.  A new mindset that I can’t do everything myself, it’s ok to ask for help, it’s ok to say NO (yes Travis, I am capable of  saying this) and finally, it’s good to take time for myself…not good, necessary. Wow…that’s a whole other blog post, for another day.

What’s your new mindset for 2012?

…a stolen life…

I woke up this morning and started reading Jaycee Dugard’s book, “A Stolen Life“.  I read the entire thing in about 3 1/2 hours.  I’ll be honest, I was curious about her life in captivity.  The story was intense and I was glued to it.  (In case you’re wondering, yes it is possible to feed a six month old bananas while reading your Kindle.)

Jaycee is an amazing person.  I think I’d like to meet her.  I know I’d love to sit and have coffee with her.  I’m sure she’d be a great friend.  She went through something no human being, let alone a child, should ever have to deal with.  She’s crazy strong, never lost hope and kept an amazing sense of self and ethics throughout her entire ordeal.

The entire time I was reading though, I couldn’t shake this thought.  Where is Jesus?

At one point in the book, Jaycee says straight out that she doesn’t consider herself very religious.  And honestly, I don’t blame her.  The guy who kidnapped her, Philip Garrido, was a religious wacko, blaming everything and anything awful he did on “God” and “the Angels”.  He forced her to listen to bible studies and was always talking crazy talk about the church he was going to start.

Whenever I hear stories about people, like Jaycee, who have overcome amazing odds, lived through terrible tragedy and unspeakable suffering…and they don’t know Jesus…I am amazed.  Amazed at how they made it through.  Amazed at their fortitude.  Amazed at their strength.

More than that though…I’m overwhelmed by what amazing things a person that strong could do for Christ’s kingdom if they did know Jesus as their Lord and Savior.  If they can accomplish and overcome all of that WITHOUT Jesus, imagine how much they could accomplish and overcome WITH Jesus.  Wowzer!!

So Jaycee, if you’re ever in Denver, I’d love to meet you for coffee.  I’d love to hear about your life of freedom, your beautiful daughters and your hopes and dreams for the future.  And I’d love for you to meet Jesus…because I think he has big plans for you.

…to all the father’s in my life…

We had a GREAT Father’s Day today.  Started off with early morning presents in bed for Daddy…he was super excited to get woken up let me tell you.  :)  The kids made him pop top cans filled with candy and giftcards with labels colored by each one of them.  It was a super easy craft that I found on Our Best Bites – one of my newest favorite blogs.  Didn’t they turn out cute?

We had a family BBQ at our house around noon.  Lots of fun, food, sun, cousins…just the best kind of Sunday afternoon.  We even made homemade ice cream which was to die for.  Seriously, it was amazing – thanks Grandma Jenean.

So, Happy Father’s Day to my favorite guys…

My dad, John – even though you live far away (boo!) we manage to keep connected by phone, email and texting.  Dad, I love you!  Thank you for being a friend, encouraging me to be my best and always loving me.  I’m so thankful that God picked you to be my dad.

My “other” dad, Jerry – thank you for always telling me I could do anything, helping me set goals and celebrating my victories.  I love you and I’m so glad you are a part of my life.

My father-in-law, Lane – thank you for who you are and for raising Travis to be such an amazing person.  It’s good I like you because you two are pretty much the same person.  :)  And yes, it seems Jacob is following right along in the Groblebe tradition.  I love you!

And finally, to my FAVORITE dad on the planet, my Travis.  You are a loving, strong, humble, generous, encouraging, loyal, hilarious and amazing husband, dad and friend.  We are so lucky to have you as the leader of our family – I love you honey.  Happy Father’s Day!

…i don’t want to go home…

Vacation…it’s something that I’m beginning to cherish more than I used to.  Not just any vacation…but true, time-off, time to relax, time to reconnect, time to do – NOTHING.  Not easy for me.  If you know me at all, you know I am a super-planner-squeeze-as-much-into-a-day-as-possible kind of girl.  Not lately though.  For the last 9 days I have been on true vacation.

I had every intention to work while on this trip.  My plan was that I would continue checking and responding to email for The Cupcake Tower and finish a few writing projects for Ken Davis Productions.  I work from home everyday so really, except for the few days we were going to spend at Disneyland, I was going to work “normally”.  My sister Jen was the first kink in my plan.  She decided that, instead of me just taking off a few days from Cupcake land….I was taking off all of them.  She was going to do my work for me and I should “keep my nose out of gmail”.  My initial instinct was to be a little irritated…no worries, that was very short lived.  For a day or two, I kept reading emails, just not responding…for the last four days I haven’t even read them.  (thanks Jen…love you)

My “real” job, KDP, well, I was so enjoying not working for The Cupcake Tower that I decided an hour or so a day for KDP would be enough.  I kept up on email, answered the 6 or 7 phone calls I got each day…but that was about it.  I have some projects I wanted to finish this week, have some other projects that my boss (hi Bri) would like me to get done and I will…starting Monday.

Here’s the thing, I am tired.  Or I was tired.  It’s not that I’ve slept a lot since we’ve been gone or even taken naps at all (although I seem to fall asleep anytime we’re in the car for more than 5 minutes, go figure).  I’ve just rested.  I’ve stopped going in 100 directions at once and gone in just a few at a time.  I’ve focused on my husband and my kids…learned a few new things about them and remembered a few others.

Delaney is a great writer and an amazing artist.  She’s shared her pictures with me and her daily “plans” of what we are going to do that day (wonder where she gets that).  I’ve delighted in her smiles and loved watching her interact with Jacob, Sara and Ellie.  Jacob has been such a trooper.  He was sick at the beginning of this trip (along with me…that’s a whole other post) and was a stud through it all.  He’d throw up, then go on another ride.  Throw up, then eat some ice cream.  He didn’t want to miss a thing.  All boy, he had no interest in princesses or fairies…but he’s so gentle with his baby sister Ellie.  All the girls really.  Sara is hilarious…and I’ve had time these last days to really notice.  She keeps all of us laughing, has a bit of a naughty streak…but she’s so dang cute it’s hard to get too upset.  And my sweet baby Ellie…for the last nine days I’ve really had time to just hold her, talk to her, stare at her big blue eyes, and savor every moment with my “last” baby.  My Travis…he’s an amazing father and my best friend…I love having all this time together.

Tomorrow we go home.  I’m not particularly excited.  Actually, I want to stay “on vacation”.  Don’t misunderstand, I miss my family, my house, even our dog Pearl (weird, I know)…but I’m bummed to give up the luxury I’ve had in the last nine days to do nothing but focus on my husband and kids.  To take time for what really matters.

But, real life is about to kick in.  Luckily for me, I love my job (both of them), love the challenge of working from home and raising four kids, love taking care of the house, the yard, etc.  Real life is great, we are blessed…but don’t think I’m not already dreaming of our next, vacation.